My own personal journey and struggles with my mental health is a story made of grit and grace. With grit, deciding that my challenges with mental illness will neither defeat nor define me. With grace, choosing compassion and forgiveness to heal from the debilitating patterns that created so much suffering in my early life.
At the young age of 18, when I was starting university and far from home for the first time, I experienced an episode of debilitating anxiety. Descending into a void of darkness that manifested in overwhelming feelings of panic and paranoia, I was alone and terrified. I had never experienced anything like this before and I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I was certain that I would be hospitalized in a psychiatric ward if I shared my hysterical thoughts with anyone.
What I didn’t realize was that I was experiencing the slippery edge of a nervous breakdown that would hold me prisoner, trapped in the darkest recesses of my mind for one whole month. Terrified and alone in a new city, I was unprepared and ill-equipped to handle this depth of inner turmoil and chaos. I had no idea what to do, if I was going to be okay, or where to turn for help.
Eventually, realising that the darkness was not going to shift on its own, I gathered the courage to call my family. What followed was a procession of seemingly endless medical assessments, where each doctor I visited attempted to prescribe me various medications after asking only a handful of questions. These appointments typically took less than 15 minutes and left me feeling misunderstood and even more alone. While I’m not opposed to medication and I firmly believe it plays a valuable role for many people, it just didn’t feel right for me at the time and no one was listening. I knew there had to be a better way to live. And so I began the journey of seeking an alternative path out of my darkness, gathering the tools that would allow me to thrive and live a full and authentic life.
The most empowering lesson I have learned on this journey is there is no cure for my mental health obstacles. However, there are many powerful tools readily available to help me manage, improve and thrive despite it. I have spent my entire adult life researching and creating a tool kit for when I need help rising out of my shadows (anxiety, panic attacks, depression), so that I never feel trapped again. A therapist once beautifully explained this lesson to me: Life can be like a well performing stock exchange. The overall trajectory can be upwards, but there will still be ups and downs. With time and the right tools in place, the lows won’t be so low and the highs will become higher.
SAOR studio and the classes we offer are a reflection of my journey to rise from anxiety. Through my own shared life experiences in classes, workshops and training sessions, I unpack the tools I have discovered and how they have helped me to not only manage my anxiety, but also thrive and go on to help others. Sharing my story is one way that I can help other women who may be experiencing the lonely darkness and despair of mental illness.
Mental health awareness and support is important more than ever because:
Each year one in five Canadians experience mental health or addiction obstacles.
Women are nearly twice as likely to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in their lifetime than men.
By the time Canadians reach 40 years of age, one in two have—or have had—a mental illness.
Just 50% of Canadians would tell friends or co-workers that they have a family member with a mental illness, compared to 72% who would discuss a diagnosis of cancer.
55% of Canadians said they would be unlikely to enter a spousal relationship with someone who has a mental illness.
Early research indicates the covid pandemic has caused a huge increase in anxiety globally, disproportionately affecting women.
My hope is that sharing my personal experience with mental health gives women the support and awareness needed to empower themselves to rise with me. Mental illness is often seen as something that needs to be managed with the mere hope of just getting by. Our efforts in SAOR studio are designed to motivate and inspire women to see that so much can be done to help them suffer less and thrive more.
It is my life’s mission to create a community where, in a space of acceptance and belonging, people can regain their power and heal together.
Our stories are all very different, but our suffering feels similar. More broadly and beyond mental health, SAOR studio unites women and provides a community to feel inspired and share experiences more freely in so we may feel like we belong and are connected. SAOR studio is for anyone who feels like there is an obstacle in her way, longs for clarity to overcome it, and find meaningful connection and purpose in her life.
